I am in a place of leadership that is in ministry to a degree, but my relationship with God is lacking and at the moment seems to be getting worse. I as a person am failing and I hate the feeling; at the same time I feel like I can not change it/don't want to. I need to find someone to take over my position and need God to take over me but I am too embarrassed to ask for help. I miss the crazy love relationship I once had with God. I need help and prayer. I seem to be slowly losing my faith.